Characteristics

Characteristics Of Abusers

1. Found in all socio-economic, educational, racial, and age groups.
2. Usually male.
3. Poor impulse control – explosive temper – limited tolerance for frustration.
4. Emotional dependency – subject to secret depressions known only to family.
5. Limited capacity for delayed gratification – very “now” oriented.
6. Insatiable ego needs – quality of childlike narcissisms (not generally detectable to people outside family group.)
7. Low self-esteem – perceived unachieved ideals and goals for self- disappointment in career even if successful by other’s standards. Exhibits this behavior by being very arrogant and cocky.
8. Great potential for change and improvement, i.e., frequent “promises” for the future.
9. Perception of self as having poor social skills – describes relationship with mate as closest he has ever known.
10. Jealous. Voices great fear of being abandoned or “cheated on” which causes the jealousy.
11. Isolation of mate and use of espionage tactics against her i.e., checks mileage, times errands – cleverness depends on level of sophistication. She becomes a prisoner in her own home.
12. Lacks awareness of others’ personal boundaries.
13. Belief that his forcible behavior is his responsibility and obligation for the good of the family.
14. Apparently feels no guilt on an emotional level even after intellectual recognition of abusive episodes.
15. Generational history of family of violence. Is a witness for mistreatment and disrespect of women.
16. Assaultive skills which increase with age & experience accompanied by a rise in danger potential & lethality risks.
17. Demanding, aggressive, and even assaultive in sexual activities – sometimes punishes with abstinence- at times experiences impotence. Insensitive to victims sexual needs or desires.
18. Increase in assaultive behavior when she is pregnant which frequently causes miscarriage.
19. Exerting control over mate by threatening homicide and/or suicide – often attempts one or both when partner is trying to leave – known to complete either or both.
20. Chooses type of abuse that most effectively pushes the victim’s ‘buttons’.
21. Blames everyone else for abuse. Accepts no blame for failures (marital, familial, or occupational), or for violence